you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
