ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
