Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament

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(646): View more from New York

I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it

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(216): View more from Ohio

there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.

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(682): View more from Texas

For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...

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