I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
