Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
