i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
