umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
