i just had sex bonerless
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
