that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
