apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
