im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
