So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
now i know why i became what i already was.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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