can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just cut my nipple shaving
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
