We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize