Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
