I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
