This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
