he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
