Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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