Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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