I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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