New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
