i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
