the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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