'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
