Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize