she was so not down for the gang bang
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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