He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
