playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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