Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
