youre lurking in front of me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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