Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize