Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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