i think my tv is drunk
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
