I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
