i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
