Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
