I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
