oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
