I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
