if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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