what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
