I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
