I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
