Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im six kinds of drunk right now
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
