i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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