Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
