I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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