You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
