Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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