Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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