Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
