I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
