The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
