Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize