why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
