Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His nipple licking is glorious
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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