am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
