Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
