Do you still have your period?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am mentally ready for anal.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
