I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
