My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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