The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
