Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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